Dance On

Today is Christ-mas eve in Australia. Right at this very second it is Christ-mas Eve.
How did it get here so fast?

All the houses are lit up; the next door neighbour even put all the batteries in my tree so the doors of the tree can fly open to show Santa Rocking Around The Clock and the stage lights flashing while he sings some crazy outlandish Chrissy songs every ten minutes. Oh yeah,yeah,yeah.

That's the kid in me. The kid I won't allow to die. Why should I?

My foot is as itchy as heck. First time I've had such an itchy foot for Chrissy. That makes a change for me.

One memory Chrissy stirs up for me was one in Queensland.

Constantly we were plagued by huge ugly cane toads coming from the farm dam. The only way to get rid of them was to put salt on their backs, so, I out with the Saxa
and was about to wham the salt on it to make it head back to the dam fast to wash it off when my daughter stopped me. This was something I had never done before, but being night time ..... she cried out ...

"Oh Mum! It's Christ-mas!!!! You CAN'T DO THAT AT CHRIST-MAS!", then there was the almost tears.

I stared at her in shock. She wanted me to have an ugly CANE TOAD as a Chrissy guest?!

"It's going." I said defiantly, " I don't want an ugly cane toad sitting on the doorstep for Chrissy.

"How COULD you be so cruel!!!" the tears started flowing.

"But it will only make it go to the dam in a hurry to get the salt off!" It was a pleading note.

"But it hurts them!"

"It hurts me even more looking at it." came the snap.

We looked one another in the eyes over the back of the ugly looking thing which refused to budge even though I know it could see the salt.

"NOOO!!!" she cried. "It's got a beauty all of it's own!"

I stared down at the huge thing. There was no doubt about it, it was the ugliest thing I'd seen, no beauty to be found.

"Where?" question was over and done with.

"There!" she pointed at it. I stared at the toad. One minutes silence was held during the staring. Nope. Couldn't see a thing.

"Can't you SEE it?" the dismal voice made me feel a criminal. Quickly I hid the salt behind my back so the toad couldn't see it.

"No ... not really."

"Open your eyes Mum! Look at the charm, look at the grace! Look at the eyes, look at the face!"

"I looked."

"Not hard enough! Look again! Look at the child within the toad!"

I started to wonder if she needed me to councel her about something, it was obvious the child had an enormous problem.

"Have you been eating those mushrooms growing near the Ironbark trees again?"

"They died ages ago Mumsy Dear."

" They can leave you with a funny mind."

"My mind is NOT FUNNY!"

" Neither is that cane toad. It's not gonna turn into a Prince for you. It's getting salt."

With that she let out a scream which echoed through the gumtrees, knocked the min-min lights off the paddocks, lifted the roof an inch, and almost caused the door to slam shut.

"Struth!!" I looked at her wide eyed with hair standing on end. "Don't do that! You'll wake the goanna's!!"

Two tame possums decided to watch the pantomine and sat on the patio watching. It was obvious she had scared them witless. Their eyes were bigger.

"WELL DON'T PUT SALT ON THE TOADS BACK ON CHRIST-MAS EVE!!!"

I stepped back from the screaming, the eardrums were still knocking together from the big one and somehow had acquired cymbols.

"All this fuss over a cane toad?" it came out as a whisper, it was the shock of the big scream.

"It's Christ-mas!!"

"It's a toad!"

"IT'S CHRIST-MAS!!!"

" IT'S A CANE TOAD!"

"You're cruel."

"You're mad."

"You're horrible."

"You're as bad."

"Let it stay?"

"Get outta my way!"

"It's not a sinner!"

"It's not invited to Dinner!"

It was a fast canversation.

The toad sat at our feet and did nothing while we exchanged these few words. The salt was still behind my back.

Suddenly, the little verbal exchange stopped as we stared at one another defiantly, like two hens about to have one big fight.

"If ... you ... dare .. to ....hurt .. that ...toad ....." Her eyes were flashing. I could almost feel the hot air running down my back and the warm blood flowing from me as they narrowed.

" ..... I will never speak to you again as long as I live! So there!"

There was no doubt about it. I was a rotten mother. I had a daughter who needed phsychiatric treatment. Maybe a few needles to calm her and a blood transfusion to get the stink of the funny mushrooms out of her blood. Maybe I needed instructions on how not to let my daughter become a nut case while I was about it.

"Have you been smoking anything down by the creek?"

" I would NEVER smoke ANYTHING!!!" ... snap, took two seconds.

"hmnnnnnnn." I looked at her thoughtfully. The cane toad moved. I let out the biggest scream ever heard .. it was better than hers, the roof lifted 2 inches.

"Don't DO that! You'll frighten it!!" she yelled.

" You did!! It wasn't moving when you did!!"

Sonny was standing nearby, we had forgotten him during the exchange. He had lost his two front teeth and everything came out as a lisp. Suddenly he spoke.

"Ith a fwog! Get the car an squath it!!"

We both looked at him. It was a boy's natural response. My daughters attention was held by thoughts of what name to call him this time. She walked towards him. I knew he could defend himself. I had taught him.

While she wasn't looking I quickly poured salt on the ugly things back.

The reaction was one I hadn't expected. The toad jumped sky high,tried to scratch it's back ,did a few spins in mid air, landed at daughters feet, she screamed again and ran in circles, sonny ran around a few gumtrees, I stared, the toad zoomed into the air again, hopped about frantically, zoomed up a tree, fell on the ground, zoomed into the air again, turned three circles and was never seen again.

Absolute silence. The kids ran to me.

"What happened to it Mumsy?" daughter was holding onto me tightly. So was sonny.

"Well I'll be darned! I think it ate some funny mushrooms!" was all I could think of saying.

Silence.

"Well, I think it's alright now." she would have sounded happy if the baffled tone hadn't been in her voice.

"I know!!" cried Sonny happily " Ith went to meet Thanta!!

Daughter smiled at me. THAT was the answer! I smiled at her.

"Sorry Mumsy." her arms went around me.

"Sorry Honsey." my arms went around her.

And somewhere in the depths of the big dam, an ugly cane toad was desperately allowing the water to soak salt from it's back ......

Darn it! Why am I such a sinner! It can be such a let down at times! Then again ... come to think of it .... it would be pretty boring being perfect.

;D