Hospital

It began Monday night when I went to bed. I couldn't breathe when I laid down. I went to the lounge room and laid on the couch - and couldn't breathe. The time was about 12.20 a.m. I think.

Not knowing what to do at that time of a night I sat up becoming sicker, and far too ill to drive my car. Prayer was the only way I could get through the night.

My heart beat was shockingly fast, but, I knew what was happpening there. It was "nerves" just as the Dr's had told me for years. My head was splitting, and I knew the BP was high so I stayed in a seated huddle holding my tummy so I could get some breath down there.

It took such a long time for dawn to start to break and I was exhausted from trying to fight for breath, my body was saturated in sweat.

With dawn came knowledge I wouldn't be disturbing the night staff.So I phoned the hospital. They wanted me there immediately - by ambulance. No way! I wasn't worrying ambulance staff at that time of the morning!

Next thing, a hospital car was at the door and a former Matron who is also a friend was there to get me to hospital but fast.

I have never seen such a hullabaloo. Dr arrived, everything was happening, and I was oblivious to the fact they were trying to save my life.

No, it was nothing to do with my lungs. In fact, they were fine. At last the body showed exactly what was happening - it was my heart.

I was in what they call A.F. ( Atrial Fibrillation) and drowning in my own body fluid as the heart was not pumping correctly and throwing liquid into my lungs.
The heartbeat was 147 p.minute.

Apparently, I have suffered from A.F for some time and it hasn't been detected because no ECG was given during other palpitations.

Now, I am on warfarin.

The Blood Pressure then played up of course. Many times it reached 210/70 - and up to 220/70.


My son phoned. He was lovely. I hadn't heard from him for years as he is far too busy..................

I did something unforgiveable I think, I have never asked my children for a thing, and he being a Recording Artist I thought it would be great if he could just gently play the drums and triangles for me as a meditatin music to help lower my BP.

He contacted my daughter and wasn't very happy with me for asking. He told my daughter he would send me his latest CD as there is a drum solo on it.

Apparently he was 'offended' I didn't want his wifes voice singing. Oh hell!

However, as yet, I have received nothing, not even a card. But at least he phoned and that was lovely - until I was told he had told my daughter he had to go as I was "waffling on".

I don't recall "waffling on" as I didn't have the strength to say too much, but, if they say so ........


And so, I have spent 8 days in Hospital. What hell! Not from the Hospital, but from my daughter!

She came up and played up. She refused to stay in my house as my husband had died in it. And so far as my little dog was concerned, she really wasn't interested. It was easier to close the door and her back on my little one and leave her to my next door neighbour. And, I think that is the straw which has broken the camel's back so far as she and I are concerned. I just don't want to ever see her again.

I really feel I hate her for turning her back on my little dog who only lives to love and know I can never forget - never.

I had left a plate, a knife and fork and a teacup in the sink to be washed. Naughty Mummy! My bed wasn't made. Of course not! She didn't make it either! There was a quilt on the loungeroom couch I had used to try to keep warm through the night I was suffering. Oh what a sin! Of course the plate, knife and fork and cup were not washed either.

My Grandaughter wanted me to go to them in Ballarat to recuperate. I could see I maaaaay have been a pest to my daughter if I did but wasn't positive.

Then I got the phonecall once she was back in Ballarat. She was soooooooooooooooooooo BUSY!! Oh I was welcome, but would have to pull my weight so to speak. I knew what that meant.
I didn't speak, far better to let her go on. When I did the words were abrupt.. "No worries, I won't be down, now I MUST sleep."

But I cried and cried. And up went my BP.

My phonecalls were screened after that. Gosh it's been a battle. Right now, my phone is disconnected from the wall. I want no calls from her.



I gave up on any help from them and signed myself into complete care of the Hospital and town which means I will be given Meals on Wheels until I get better, a maintenance man for as long as I need, Home Help, and of course the District Nurses will visit.

God Provides, but how I lived through that night proved His Love for His Children as not even the Dr's could work out how I lived as there was so much fluid. Aha! They didn't know how much I was sweating though!